I’ve never had a good experience with weed. It’s sad, really, to sit and watch funny stoner comedies I can’t relate to, to see my friends joyfully sharing puffs out of their cute bowls, and to spend every 4/20 wishing I could join in on the fun, but knowing I’d have a complete inner meltdown of anxiety and paranoia if I tried. As someone who was in the midst of hitting puberty just as Miley Cyrus was hitting her bong and Pineapple Express was gracing our screens, I’ve always thought of weed as a cool, kinda edgy past-time, which made me feel extra-lame for not “getting” it. And as experts continue to explore the medical benefits of cannabis and states begin to legalize recreational use, I’ve started to feel even more like an outsider to an exclusive club. I want to enjoy weed — I just can’t.