If you’re anything like me, you’re always looking to spice up your bedroom escapades, even if it means incorporating seemingly out-of-the-box ideas and techniques, like BDSM, sex toys, and shallowing/surfacing with your partner. However, one new approach may be considered extreme–temperature play. It’s a form of erotic exploration that uses heat and cold to stimulate and excite the senses in every part of your body. Temperature play is for lovers who aren’t afraid to venture beyond vanilla sex, happily opting for a kinker type of sexual experience.
So, what is temperature play?
Temperature play is when you incorporate different temperatures (warm, hot, cold) into your sex life to stimulate feel-good erogenous zones on other parts of your body along with your partners. Depending on what you and your partner prefer, you can use heat and cold variations, but the possibilities are endless. You may already be using a form of temperature play in the bedroom without knowing it. The great thing about this technique is that you’re introducing yourself and your partner(s) to a new way of experiencing pleasure you may not be used to, which can unlock kinks and preferences that we didn’t know we had. Temperature play can tap into our heightened sensitivity to touch and sensation. Feeling a hot or cold object on our bodies can send a shock through our nervous system, exciting us, which can increase our blood flow and heart rate, only furthering our sexual intensity and desire – leading to more sensual exploration, which can be sexy and unexpected.
How to incorporate temperature play in your life:
A low-entry way to begin exploring different temperatures on your body is a shower or bath. If you have a handheld shower massager, you can use it on the genitals to examine the effects of temperature change. However, you should be mindful of the pressure of the water or object as it can be harmful to the genitals. Another great option is using an ice cube for solo action on specific zones on your body, neck, nipples, or your inner thighs. For partnered play, you can leverage the ice cube down the pleasure spots or put it in your mouth while performing oral sex on them. If you’re down to explore further, you can try an advanced technique – purchasing a sex toy designed for temperature play. Various sex toys can be warmed up to 104 degrees, which is slightly above body temperature, and applied to your pleasure areas; think of your G-spot, clitoris, or any other erogenous zone for maximum satisfaction. This action allows consistent warmth for enhanced circulation, arousal, and relaxation. You can always use the sex toys for a cooler experience as well by placing them in the freezer or boiling them in warm water.
Another technique, which is a bit kinker, is leveraging massage candles to drip warm wax directly onto your partner’s skin. It’s important to note that massage candles have a lower melting temperature.
Whatever you decide to do in the bedroom, actively communicate with your partner beforehand to discuss your limits. If you both agree to temperature play, be sure to have strategies ready, like establishing a safe word so that you can pause anytime if it gets too hot or too cold in the bedroom.